Strong leaders understand that to successfully lead others they must first be able to successfully lead their own lives. Being the leader of your life takes the following: self-awareness, humility, maturity, self-confidence, and objectivity. It also takes the ability to receive criticism from others and accept that you may not always be right or may not always have the best answer. Most of all there must be an openness to learn and change.



Here are seven things you can focus on to lead yourself first:

1. Balance external forces with your own internal thoughts – Too often we allow external forces to push us into things even though we may not fully agree with the direction. Your head and your heart are strong internal gages. You can listen to the world around you and then check in with your heart. Your emotion will respond. Check in with your head. Your knowledge will answer.

2. Learn new things – Knowledge is power. Take time to read, attend a seminar, or participate in a roundtable.

3. Take off the blinders – Heighten awareness around all aspects of your life. Those areas include: family, spirituality/religion, health, recreation, environment, fitness, work/career, money, friends, and personal growth. Most of us only focus on 2-3 areas at a time and lose sight of the rest. Identify what you can do to strengthen those areas that have been outside of your blinders.

4. Create an open ear to criticism – Ask for feedback. Be willing to listen with your defenses down. In order to change we must first identify what changes make sense. Outside supporters are sometimes more objective than we will be with ourselves.

5. Have a mentor – We are never too old to learn from someone else. Find a person who you respect that would be willing to share of their time and wisdom.

6. Use the word “No” appropriately – Somewhere along the way we get so caught up in thinking we have to do everything asked of us (particularly women) that “No” is a forgotten word. I agree that there are things we must do. The concern lies with the things we take on and know that we should be saying “No” and we say “Yes” anyway.

7. Treat yourself with respect – From external indicators like dressing professionally to internal ones such as eliminating negative self-talk; we can all find ways to treat ourselves with respect.

8. Clarify your values – When asked, most of us can articulate our company’s value statement or set of core values. It’s typically more difficult to articulate our own values. Identify your core values.

9. Learn from experience – We know hindsight is 20/20, but I often find people not slowing down long enough to look back. Reflection is one of the best forms of on-the-job training. When we look back and reflect on our actions we can more objectively assess what went well and what could have been done differently.



Are you already actively engaging in all nine suggestions? If so, “Bravo”! If not, pick one that you want to focus on. Identify what you can do over the next month to take action in this area.