In the aftermath of the Virginia Tech massacre, one news commentator observed that the time to get worried about someone is not when they're loud and speaking out or acting out. The time to be concerned is when they get quiet. That is the classic mode for one suffering from abuse. They are at their last straw. Their previous requests for attention to disorder are being ignored and there is no plan to address those issues. The assaults are not only still coming but the rate has increased.

In view of the Virginia Tech events, allow me to share the words written this past summer. They apply to the university setting. They apply to the family setting. They apply to the workplace setting.

It's no secret that I am a certified domestic violence advocate as well as a certified domestic violence legal advocate. The passion on this subject evolved over a long period of time and finally crested in 1999. So when I talk about workplace abuse, the importance of personal information privacy, abusive bosses, and battered woman syndrome, there's more than an inkling of knowledge behind the words and it's more than mere conjecture or opinion.

What's disappointing to me is that as recently as 2002, the term battered woman syndrome fell into disuse as a legitimate defense for certain behaviors. It's even more disappointing to learn that the term seems to only be associated with those who murder in response to abuse. When I use the term, it is in reference to a collection of behaviors that indicate there is a significant problem in the workplace and steps to rectify those conditions need to be executed immediately.

It is very unfortunate when we allow the abusive manager into the workplace to exact their sickness on their subordinates. Their dysfunction affects more than just the employees. It also affects work product, productivity, and profits.

Also unfortunate is the situation wherein management refuses to acknowledge that the supervisor is a problem. That person's evaluations are taken as gospel. Their evaluations of subordinates are considered valid. No one calls the supervisor's abilities and judgments into question. Many times these people exist and are allowed to thrive in an environment where upper management prefers to know nothing and a culture of top-down directives is the norm. Most management experts will say that bottom-up style is preferred. But according to a 2003 article from The Economist, either system is a bit skewed.

But back to what I was saying about battered woman syndrome. When I use the term, it is not in reference to someone who has committed murder. Actually, when I use the term it is in reference to someone who is exhibiting certain classical behaviors. When that starts happening in the workplace, get prepared for some explosions in the very near future.

What are some of those behaviors? The target will exhibit fatigue, chronic physical illnesses, increased absences, depression. They will become less exuberant. In fact, they will resort to being extremely silent. The target will have been polite, understanding, diplomatic. They will have mediated and cajoled. But the day will come when they no longer say anything to the insults and they will no longer downplay the various assaults on their work, character, self esteem, and reputation. When that happens, the target has gone into the deepest area of self defense. They have tensed themselves against what they subconsciously realize will be the coming tsunami. They will have psychologically put themselves into defense mode.

Be careful about having the abusive boss on the workforce. Be sensitive to the fact that you have bullying in the workplace. Be even more cautious when you find yourself with a worker who has gone into silent mode.