Mr. Eugene Kelly was a CEO; chairman from 2002 to 2205 of the tax and advisory firm of KPMG. A hugely successful executive and leader, his doctor told him one morning that he had inoperable brain cancer. Mr. Kelly had barely 100 days to live when he wrote his memoirs, and prepared for his death. He passed away on September 10, 2005.
The book Chasing Daylight: How my Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life by Eugene O’Kelly.* is an articulate, honest and courageous journal by a man committed to leaving this earth with completion, fulfillment and peace. The story is a compelling and powerful reminder of the frailty of life. Moreover, Mr. Kelly’s wisdom and heartfelt desire to live his last days in the most meaningful way possible, give us, the living, some important things to think about. I think he and his family would be pleased to know that others will benefit from reading about his journey. Perhaps even more pleased to see his life lessons transformed into tactics for the living. It is my intent, to provide some “thinking points” and ideas on creating your “career legacy”. These reminders might help us better prioritize, seek balance, nurture others and rejuvenate the best energy that we have. In short, some ideas on how we might renew ourselves…today.
As a corporate executive, Eugene Kelly had discipline, drive, talent and conviction. Like many of us, work life is a large part of our personae, our identity and self-image. It felt natural for him to apply the same business values of accomplishment, consistency, continuity and commitment during his illness, as they had served him so well in his career. However, he conceded that it was extremely difficult to “let go”. That is, to let go of goals, commitments and an array of “business chatter” that denied him the ability to experience the present. With the grim recognition that he had very limited time left on this earth, his frustration was evident and his desire to pass along some learning’s was generous.
We know better
We hear of tragedies such as Gene’s or more intimately, the tragedies befalling people we know and love. We know life is fragile and tenuous, and we also know our “better selves”. That is; our real priorities and values, and our desire to have a life that puts a reasonable perspective on work combined with other aspects of life. We call this work-life balance. The challenge goes deeper as we consider how those hours at work are spent, and if they are aligned with our values. We know all this and more, but suffer from being “terminally knowing.’
The problem is…we get on a treadmill and forget where the off switch is.
Typically, we experience competitive pressures that translate into complex resource issues on the job. An example would be when competition forces corporations to cut costs via staffing or an increase in the hours of work or both. Add to the complexity, the myriad of human issues; conflict, mismanagement, politics, lack of communication etc, and the mix becomes more concerting. The job now becomes a vehicle for survival. The job becomes so absorbing that, sometimes, it is hard to step back and see it as what it is….a job. Furthermore, a job that is not perfect, shaped by forces that are not perfect. The company’s culture is so inculcating. All too frequently we “become our job” without realizing it.
So, what are the prospects of getting better at work balance and values alignment?
Human beings are tenacious and strong, resourceful and compassionate. Humans can, and often do adjust based on compelling new insights and new motivators. Most people want to be in alignment with their values, and respect others that are. We want to make a contribution, nurture others and create a work space that is fun and respectful. What Gene O’Kelly story reminds us is to, not wait too long to sort through all the priorities and possibilities. We might benefit from continuing to examine our own work life balance and alignment of what is important. The following is a list of 8 Tips. Some are inspired by Gene, some of them from my own work experiences. The tips can contribute toward more personal fulfillment, provide another opportunity for a better balance and lead toward creating your own “legacy”.
Creating a Career Legacy
Consider redirecting and channeling some of your time to nurturing the people and professionals around you. This might be putting aside some time to call people that you know are in transition, just checking in on them, and offering what support you can. Perhaps you see an article that correlates quite well to the conversation you had recently with a colleague. Take the time to forward it to them with a note on much you appreciated the time together, and sharing ideas and opinions. Perhaps you uncover information in your own day to day business that could broaden someone’s perspective or illuminate new thinking on a topic. Reach out to your network in a personal way.
Develop Someone Else
We all have gifts, talents and sometimes, little brushes with brilliance. Observe others and offer to teach them something you know. Perhaps an older worker is struggling with the computer; perhaps a younger worker is unsure of their ability to influence others. Know your strengths, and give them away. Express to them your intention to be a mentor, coach or friendly advisor based on the level of your friendship. Do you know how many people wish they had mentors? Do it! Be a mentor!
Recognize Others
Interestingly, 59% of workers said they don’t receive recognition for a job well done. **
Not feeling valued is also cited in this same study as the main reason people leave their jobs. Recognition may be more meaningful if you can sharpen your skills of observation. Observe how other people are operating with excellence. Perhaps you notice a colleagues’ superb ability to be diplomatic and professional while resolving a conflict with another. Perhaps another person has shown courage, perhaps taken a risk in a meeting, to express an unpopular opinion for more authentic problem solving. Practice relaying your recognition tied to specific behaviors in addition to results achieved.
Express Your Gratitude
Make it a practice to thank colleagues and co-workers for their help or assistance and the impact or contribution it made to making your job easier or more efficient and for the benefit of the company. Send a thank you email, and cc an appropriate manager, or other influential person to alert them to your gratitude and satisfaction with the colleague.
Learn to live in the here and now
You might say; “What a platitude!” Our lives are a blur of calendars, emails, appointments, meetings, phone calls etc. etc. The expression; “take time to smell the roses” may for many, only become meaningful, if they experience a tragedy. Hopefully we can reassert our common sense and wisdom to understand that our lives are precious, and not to be consumed by issues imagined or real that are not important. Explore the tactics that help you “center”. That is, practices that help you quiet your mind, focus on the moment and assist you in appreciating each day as a gift.
Reexamine priorities regularly
It is so easy to be seduced, and later ritualize the “grind” that we create for ourselves. When it really feels like the job is out of control, specifically because you are feeling that who you are is diminished, it may be time to regroup. Regroup means; to take stock, or to take a time-out to reassess your needs, and get onto a better track. This is difficult to do alone, as we get too close to our rituals and lose objectivity. Seek advice. Hire a coach, talk to a counselor, a trusted friend or clergy. Do take action.
Talk to Your Family
Job stressors can often have us become the worst of company to the people we love the most. Your family does not interact with the people you do, but need to be apprised of your highs and lows, challenges and opportunities on a regular basis. I do not know what I would do without the support of my family. I do believe it has come from sharing often, but also taking responsibility for my successes and failures and allowing them to nurture me.
Stress and stress-related symptoms account for 75-90% of visits to primary care physicians. This includes; backache, insomnia, anxiety, depression, chest pain, hypertension, and headache.*** Although there are a variety of ways to tackle this, remember that stress management techniques are only useful if we know where the greatest stressors are coming from(internal and external), and make some informed choices about how to deal with the symptoms.
Your ability to deal with stress head-on will create more flow for many of the other areas discussed. Many things can trigger the stress reaction, including danger, threat, news, illness, as well as significant changes in one's life such as the death of a loved one. The trick however, is seeking help to provide a perspective outside of our own current level of awareness. This may be though a counselor, or spiritual advisor. Seek out advice. Be well. Sharyn
References:
* Publisher: McGraw-Hill; (December 5, 2005) ISBN: 0071471723
** Research by Kepner-Tregoe, Princeton, NJ 1999
Sharyn Mosca is an international management consultant, speaker and executive trainer. She has led seminars in Europe, Asia, Latin America, as well as the U.S., Canada and Puerto Rico. Her seminars and keynotes focus on helping others clarify and align their values to more authentic leadership practices and career goals. She uses emotional intelligence as a foundation to teach key competencies such as influence, managing change, facilitating and coaching. Sharyn may be reached at 973-492-1681 or info@smosca.com Additionally; more information can be obtained through her website and newsletter articles located at http://www.smosca.com
