When I coach executives on their presentation/communication skills, we always end up talking about the power of a pause. In this context, I´m referring to that 3-to-4 second break in which the communicator stops speaking, takes a breath, and formulates what to say or ask next. The pause is a huge gift to everyone involved. It serves as a refreshing substitute for the annoying fillers like "um" and "ah" that many people insert as bridges to their next thought. The communicator comes across as more confident and competent, and the listeners have the benefit of a mini-break before the next idea is spoken.
If you often find yourself inserting an "um" or "ah" or "like" or "you know" (the list goes on...), try taking a forced break of 3 - 4 seconds after you finish a thought. It will feel very stilted at first and yet over time, you will find your own natural rhythm and enjoy the stillness in each pause. Your listeners will also be grateful.
A great way to practice this, by the way, is to ask your family to make a "beep" sound every time you use a filler word. Also, when you´re recording voicemail messages, use the feature that allows you to listen to your message before you send it, and if you use a filler word, re-record the message and listen again. Feedback is critical to making improvement.
During this long Labor Day weekend, I came to appreciate the power of a pause in a larger context. I paused from my usual hectic schedule to go for a run. I found myself relishing the beautiful outdoors and being tickled by the lizards and swans I saw on my route.
In Buddhism, there is a lot of reference to "spaciousness" and noticing the space between thoughts. As we find ourselves scheduling our week full of work and life commitments, let´s remember to also schedule in some time to pause - let´s create space for reflection, for new ideas and insights. One leader I know has taken to scheduling 45-minute meetings/appointments and therefore giving herself an automatic 15 minute space between commitments. Do you have a way to regularly include pauses in your day? If not, what difference might it make to your energy, joy and effectiveness?
May you have a s p a c i o u s day.
