- Excerpted from HRinsight, written by HR experts and employment law attorneys from around the country http://www.HRhero.com/insight.shtml?HLe

   Part of being an HR professional is dealing with hostile, angry people. In some ways, being in HR is like working at the "lost luggage" desk at the airport: People don't come to see you unless they have a problem.

   And by the time they get to you, they're angry, frustrated, and hostile. At that point, they may not even be interested in solving the problem. They just want someone they can yell at to vent their anger.

   That's why it's so important to know how to defuse hostility. If you can't calm the person down, you can't work together to solve his problem.

   HR expert and author Robert Bacal offers the following principles you can apply when you have to deal with an angry or hostile employee:

   - You need to deal with the employee's feelings before you can deal with the issue at hand.

     Trying to ignore the anger won't work, says Bacal. "An angry person needs to have the issue and his feelings addressed in order to start interacting constructively," he says. "The angrier the person, the more important it is to acknowledge his anger through the use of empathy statements and listening responses first, before moving on to the issue."

     You can't solve the problem that caused the anger until you eliminate the anger and the employee is ready to participate in a rational fashion.

   - Defuse the bomb before it can blow up.

     "Angry and frustrated people usually indicate their mood prior to opening their mouths and beginning a hostile attack," says Bacal. "One way to address or preempt the attack is to begin the defusing process before the other person gets on an abusive rant."

     For example, if you see an employee heading toward you looking irate, be the first one to talk. Say something like "John, you look upset about something? Can we talk about it?" That will help set a civil tone for the discussion.

   - Be assertive.

     One of the worst things you can do with a hostile person is let him bully you or step over the line with his words or actions.

     "In fact, if you don't speak up for yourself in these situations, bully-type people will perceive you as an acceptable victim for their poor behavior," says Bacal.

     Statements such as "I can help you sort this out, but I need you to calm down so I can ask you some questions" and "If you continue to yell, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, and we can have this conversation later when you have calmed down" show the person that while you're willing to listen and help resolve the problem, you aren't willing to let the employee bully and berate you.

   - Send this important message: Your hostile behavior isn't going to work with me.

     "Aggressive, abusive, and manipulative people look for victims they can control, using a variety of confrontation-provoking behavior," says Bacal. "When dealing with such people, the important message to send is: 'What you are doing isn't going to work with me. I will not be bullied, suckered into stupid arguments, or insulted or give you the satisfaction of reacting to
the abuse.' In short, it isn't going to work with me."

     According to Bacal, once overly aggressive people realize they aren't going to be able to control you - or make you angry or upset - they're more likely to deal with you on a rational level.