As you visualize the path your life has taken over the last decade, think about viewing it through a telescope, not a microscope. Too many times, we focus on the small stuff, and it zaps our mental energy.

What really matters in life? As a university instructor, I frequently have discussions with students regarding their time management skills and ability to prioritize. I steer the dialogue toward focusing on the important things in life that truly bring one pleasure and self-actualization.

With the recent passing of Pope John Paul II, Terry Schiavo, and Johnny Cochran, we all should be thinking of what is important to each of us. What we all seek is to find and maintain a "quality of life" that brings peace to our minds and bodies. Perhaps now is the time to reflect on exactly what personal leadership means to you, and the people you care about most. 

If you are unsure of what those priorities are in your life, perhaps it´s time to give it some thought. Look at personal leadership as taking charge of your life with a feeling of confidence and a clear direction. 

A colleague shared with me an interesting story that brought clarity to this issue very quickly. The story´s author is unknown, but the message is so clear and precise. Taking the time to comprehend its message will help put life into perspective and enable you to make appropriate choices every day. So, when things in life seem overwhelming, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the jar of peanut butter ... and the glass of iced tea.

"MY LIFE IN A JAR"

My professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a very large, empty peanut butter jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So, my professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

Next, my professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

My professor then produced a glass of iced tea from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life."

"The golf balls are the important things: your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions, things that - if everything else was lost and only they remained - your life would still be full."

"The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house and your car."

"The sand is everything else: the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children; take time to get medical checkups; take your partner or friend out to dinner; play another 18 holes of golf; bowl another game. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the glass of iced tea represented. The professor smiled. "I´m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there´s always room for a cold glass of iced tea to quench your thirst, refresh your mind and simulate those taste buds."

You see, life isn´t a matter of how high your stack of money is or what position you hold in an organization. Rather, it is those personal relationships that tend to make your life meaningful and whole. So the question remains, is there any room for your golf balls amid the sand in your life?

Keith L. Vencel is a human resources professional and faculty practitioner at the University of Phoenix, Northern California Campus. He serves on the National Advisory Board, Human Capital Institute, which shapes leadership practices for business leaders. Keith is a freelance writer with a focus on diversity and talent management.

Email address: hr@surewest.net